


written in the stars

by cafenomin



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Han Jisung | Han has Anxiety, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:28:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25490884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafenomin/pseuds/cafenomin
Summary: They smiled at each other. Hyunjin just stared at them blankly. “A name?” he asked while holding a transparent cup, meant for the stranger’s ice coffee.“Minho.”Minho.That’s a pretty name, Jisung thought. Now that he was thinking about it, the boy seemed very familiar. Not necessarily his face, but the way he acted, how he talked and smiled; in a way that seemed almost arrogant, but not quite. Almost as if he knew how good looking he was, but he still had a pinch of humbleness to him. It felt to him as if they already knew each other, a certain sense of familiarity washed over him. Maybe it was the way his mouth produced such a smooth, soothing voice. Or perhaps it was the way he stood, shoulders back, neck tall, but lips curved in a soft smile. Something about him made Jisung think they had met before. He shook his head in an attempt to get rid of his nonsense thoughts.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 165





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pyrexhp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyrexhp/gifts).



> This is actually a gift for my best friend, Tina. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I love you, happy birthday, angel.
> 
> Title from written in the stars by John Legend and Wendy.

The day was cold and bloomy, the birds hadn’t sung today, his alarm hadn’t rung, his phone wasn’t charging by his bedside table as he thought it was. The warm, summer day he thought he was going to have was definitely not happening. The white shirt he had placed in the washing machine was now soft blue. He had dropped his favorite mug on the floor, as he was trying to make himself a cup of coffee. His previously blue hair was beginning to fade, and he just knew that it was a matter of a few days, before his hair would turn green. It clearly just wasn’t his day. 

Jisung was a nice person, he wasn’t always happy but he really tried to. Ever since he was a child, he had been complimented on his positivity and determination to thrive. Even if he wasn’t feeling so good, he would be there for others. He was the go-to person when any of his friends were sad, because he was a good listener, and because he experienced sadness quite often. It was hard for him to make friends, and he was generally a very shy person. But still, once he opened up, he would do anything for his friends, like walking extra for coffee just because the store was Hyunjin’s.

That’s how Jisung found himself walking ten blocks, with his phone’s battery completely drained, his previously white shirt now a weird shade of blue that he hated. He sighed deeply and cursed himself for not double-checking whether his phone was actually charging or not, he didn’t like going places without listening to music.

He got to the café rather quickly, desperately begging whoever was making his day go this bad to just stop. He entered the cozy coffee store and was greeted by the sweet scent of baked goods and Hyunjin’s giant smile. How he had the energy to smile so brightly at 8 in the morning, was beyond Jisung’s comprehension. He walked to the counter and waited in line, nodding to the rhythm of the song that was playing in the store. 

Jisung gave his best friend a smile and ordered an iced americano. It wasn’t his favorite, but he still liked the kick of energy he would get after drinking one. Something told him that he would be needing the extra energy. He thanked Felix, one of the baristas, when he handed him his cup and turned around to leave.

As if Jisung’s day wasn’t already the worst day a human being can possibly have, as he was leaving the store, he ran into a stranger, resulting in him dropping his cup and spilling coffee all over himself.

“Great”, he mumbled in annoyance. This day couldn’t possibly get any worse. “This is just… great”

The stranger stared at him, mouth gaping, clearly wanting to say something, but not knowing what.

“Shit, are you ok?” He finally asked.

Jisung looked down at his stained shirt and the empty cup, surrounded by a puddle of coffee and ice, and then looked up at the stranger. 

But, oh, boy. He shouldn’t have done that. The stranger was arguably one of the prettiest men Jisung had ever seen. He looked very intimidating. He had these eyes, so dark they seemed to never end. His lips were pressed together in a thin line that made him seem even more intimidating. His hair was a rich shade of brown, and it fell on his forehead. Not in a messy way though, he had clearly styled it that way purposely. Jisung looked at the stranger’s shirt and realized the coffee had stained it.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t paying attention, I didn’t mean to...”

“Hey, hey.” The stranger cut him off and smiled. Suddenly, he wasn’t as intimidating anymore. Those deep, intense eyes were now curved cutely, his smile big and genuine. “Don’t worry. I know it was an accident. You don’t need to keep apologizing.”

Jisung stared at the floor; his cheeks and ears turned crimson red. 

“Can I buy you a coffee? Since you dropped that one… You seem like you need it.” Jisung wondered whether he should feel offended or grateful. Did he really look that bad? The stranger must have noticed the conflicted look on his face because he quickly added. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude,” he smiled softly, but nervously “I meant that you seem to be having a bad day. Wait, no, that also sounds really rude.”

“It’s alright! I know I look like a mess.”

“I didn’t say that you just seem to be very tired.” 

The stranger sighed, “C’mon, let me buy you breakfast.” He insisted.

“But what about you? Your shirt is stained because of me. I think I should be offering to buy  _ you _ breakfast.” Jisung argued.

The pretty boy smiled in a way that made him look ten times prettier. Jisung smiled back, tiredly, and held the coffee store’s door open. The stranger thanked him and the blue-haired boy could have sworn his smile had gotten bigger. They walked in, side by side, neither of them looking at each other.

Hyunjin chuckled as he saw his best friend walk in again, this time with a stained shirt and a pretty boy beside him. 

“Back again so soon? Did you miss me that much?” Hyunjin teased, causing his friend to roll his eyes. The boy cleared his throat and looked at Jisung. 

“What are you having?” The pretty stranger asked. Hyunjin stared at them with a raised eyebrow and a teasing smile. 

“Yeah, Jisung, what are you having?” 

Jisung looked at his friend and blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. 

“Uh… I don’t know, I don’t want you to waste any money on me.” He finally said.

“What about this, I’ll buy you breakfast, and as a thank you, you must stay and chat with me” The pretty boy proposed, smirking. Jisung stood there, mouth agape, not knowing how the fuck he had gotten himself into this. “You can buy me breakfast too if you really want to”

Hyunjin held back a laugh, finding the situation very entertaining. “So a caramel macchiato for Jisungie.” He said.

“Hyunjin!” Jisung whined. He was used to Hyunjin’s teasing and usually, he would tease him back. He knew his friend meant well, he just wasn’t in the mood to be teased today.

“What? If you accept, you’ll get to have a breakfast date with a very pretty boy. I don’t see anything wrong with that.” His friend fired back, smiling cockily. 

“Fine. What will you have?” 

“Oh, so you’re accepting?” The boy gleamed. “Then I’ll have an iced coffee.” 

“Anything else?” Hyunjin asked, with his best customer service voice.

“A slice of that godly cheesecake Woojin hyung bakes.” Jisung looked at the boy, “What about you?”

“I’ll have that, too.” 

They smiled at each other. Hyunjin just stared at them blankly. “A name?” he asked while holding a transparent cup, meant for the stranger’s ice coffee.

“Minho.” 

Minho. 

_ That’s a pretty name, _ Jisung thought. Now that he was thinking about it, the boy seemed very familiar. Not necessarily his face, but the way he acted, how he talked and smiled; in a way that seemed almost arrogant, but not quite. Almost as if he knew how good looking he was, but he still had a pinch of humbleness to him. It felt to him as if they already knew each other, a certain sense of familiarity washed over him. Maybe it was the way his mouth produced such a smooth, soothing voice. Or perhaps it was the way he stood, shoulders back, neck tall, but lips curved in a soft smile. Something about him made Jisung think they had met before. He shook his head in an attempt to get rid of his nonsense thoughts.

They sat down in a booth. The booths were —in Jisung’s mind—the best part of Hyunjin’s store. The sofas were a dark beige, made of a very soft and cushiony fabric. Jisung found them very comfortable. Comfortable enough to forget the pretty boy, Minho, for just a second. They also provide a little privacy, the sofas enclosing them, hiding their bodies from the rest of the customers. 

Minho looked at Jisung with a strange expression. He didn’t know what it meant, which made him a little uncomfortable. He was usually good at reading people, yet the look on Minho’s face was unknown to him. It soothed him, to be able to tell what people thought just by their body language, it helped him feel less anxious. Minho started a conversation, clearly trying to break the awkward silence that enclosed them like a thick fog. 

The young strangers talked about everything and anything that morning. They talked about their favorite things; Minho really enjoyed dancing, watching anime, and autumn. He liked to read, especially mystery novels, and enjoyed walks along the Han river. 

Somehow, these things did not sound like news to Jisung. He kept finding himself thinking of how all of those things seemed familiar, almost as if he had done them himself. 

He hadn’t, he was sure he hadn’t, yet it was all so vivid, so close to him.

“What?” Minho asked.

“Huh?”

“You’ve been looking at me weirdly for the last five minutes.” Jisung let out a sigh. “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing, I’m just tired, I think.”

And so Jisung told him about his favorite things. He told him about how much he liked horror movies and how his favorite season was winter because he liked to wear hoodies and beanies. He told him about his studies abroad, and how much he missed his family. 

The boy watched that same expression of familiarity he had a few minutes ago suddenly creep on Minho’s face. Neither of them said anything about that, yet it was stuck in their minds. 

It was all Minho could think about as he made his way back to his apartment. Those weird, almost fabricated memories, kept flooding his mind, bothering him, filling him with unanswered questions. The thing about Minho, though, is that he liked mysteries, and most importantly, he liked getting answers. That thought calmed him as he rested his head upon his pillow.

It was all Jisung could think about as he watched Hyunjin’s lips move, telling him something he couldn’t hear. His mind was lost in the very lucid memory of Minho laughing, running through the deep green forest, teasing him, telling him to hurry up. But it wasn’t a memory, though. He wasn’t very good at visualizing thoughts, so it really made no sense to him that he was able to imagine such things. It made him uneasy.

That night, the two boys went to sleep with each other in their minds. In their sleep, they saw each other, but they didn’t look the same. Minho’s hair was a dirty blonde, and Jisung’s was a washed-out grey. They talked comfortably, cuddling on a red couch Jisung didn’t recognize. They seemed to be very used to each other; even when they were silent, they looked peaceful.

Peaceful. 

_ White, cold, foamy waves washed Jisung’s feet. A warm summer breeze ruffled his hair and filled his lungs with warmth. He could hear Minho's hypnotizing laugh next to him, as he complained about how cold the water was and how much it tickled him. They played for a while, splashing water at each other’s faces, getting their clothes wet. Laughter filled the sweet summer air. Everything was how it was supposed to be, it felt right. They were where they were meant to be, everything was in its place. _

  
  


Minho awoke.


	2. Chapter 2

Jisung jumped out of bed and hopped in the bathtub. He enjoyed moments like this; sitting in his bathtub, softly washing his hair with his favorite shampoo, letting himself relax completely in the warm water.

_ The streets were almost deserted that night. Bright, flashing lights of billboards on fancy buildings and stoplights that ran for no one. Minho’s hand helped combat the cold weather more than any jacket could. They laughed carelessly. The world had stopped for them. Minho looked more beautiful than ever, with the world’s prettiest, most genuine smile, decorating his angelic face. The city lights flashed against his skin, but his eyes shone brighter. He held galaxies in his eyes, and Jisung could get lost in them for hours. He felt at ease. _

He stepped out of the water.

The mirror was covered in steam, making it difficult for Jisung to actually see anything but his naked silhouette. He quickly got dressed, not wanting to get cold. The blue-haired boy used his hand to wipe down the fogged mirror so he would be able to see himself. He brushed his hair softly, taking his time with untangling and styling. 

Jisung held mornings like these very close to his heart. That feeling of having all the time in the world was just his favorite, he felt at ease, so refreshed. He grabbed his favorite book and went out. He walked slowly, taking his time, letting the warm golden rays of sunlight wash over him, filling him with their warmth.

The coffee store was already getting crowded. It would have been a rare sight if it wasn't Hyunjin’s café. The cozy store was known across the neighborhood for having the best deal for Sunday breakfast. They served these amazing chocolate cupcakes and this godly coffee mocha with white chocolate that everyone just seemed to love. Jisung smiled warmly at the handwritten chalkboard sign with the special menu. He recognized Hyunjin’s pretty handwriting. 

The circumstances in which Jisung met Hyunjin were definitely not a good memory for either of the boys.

It was an orange day. The autumn leaves painted everything with pretty shades of orange and brown, and Jisung was in PE, his most hated subject. He was a skinny, almost scrawny kid. It’s not like he didn't eat anything. In fact, he ate a lot, he just had a really fast metabolism. On top of that, he had terrible asthma, making it very difficult for him to run for long periods of time.

He was feeling rather disoriented—from the heat, tiredness and the lack of air—which stopped him from running in a straight line and caused him to run almost sideways instead. That’s how his body came across Hyunjin’s. Since both of the boys were running, crashing into each other made them fall hard onto the ground. Hyunjin fell on top of his own hand, causing his wrist to break. Jisung twisted his ankle and fell on his face, but luckily the pile of leaves softened the impact.

Both of them ended up in the nurse’s office, Jisung with a sprained ankle and scratched knees, Hyunjin with a broken wrist. They had to stay in the same room together, waiting for the doctors to get there. They kept each other company during the ambulance ride and while they were waiting for the X-rays to come back.

The following day, Hyunjin went to school with a wrist cast, and Jisung had to use crutches for a while in order to avoid hurting his ankle any further by laying his weight on it. That day the boys had lunch together, and upon discovering their houses were nearby, they walked each other home too. 

That’s the story of how Hyunjin and Jisung became best friends. It wasn’t a good day for either of them, but it sure did bring happy days afterward. Ever since that day in the 8th grade, the two boys were glued by the hip, always going everywhere together—even prom; Jisung had no date and Hyunjin didn’t want him to miss out on prom just because he didn't have a date. So when Hyunjin told Jisung he was moving to Seoul for college, Jisung decided he’d go to college in Seoul as well. 

Just like that, the two boys moved to Seoul. Jisung had found a pretty cheap apartment that was close to his college, and Hyunjin found the college dorms to be cheaper than paying for an actual apartment and was thrilled to find out that he could stay there during summer break. 

Jisung had watched Hyunjin build his store from scratch. From choosing a pretty name, Aroma Mocha, to painting and decorating the store, and to hiring his employees. In fact, Jisung had been present during Woojin’s interview, and he himself had suggested he hired Felix as a barista. To say that Jisung was proud of his best friend was an understatement. He had been there when he had cried because his profit wasn’t enough to cover his costs and pay the employees. Actually, it had been Jisung who had suggested making his most sold beverage and baked goods into a special menu and to raise their pricing in order to make the most of them. 

With a soft smile, Jisung walked into the coffee store he had seen grow into what it is now. He got behind the counter and grabbed an apron. It was usual for Jisung to help in the store on Sundays, their busiest days. He liked making coffee and taking orders and wishing people a “fantastic Sunday!”

Felix greeted him with a giant smile, waiting for him to go say hi to Woojin and wash his hands, before passing him a ticket and a cup. He quickly got to work. Giving out mochas left and right, greeting customers and taking their orders. And then he heard a familiar voice.

His head shot up and he smiled as he recognized Minho standing in front of him, wearing a black long-sleeved shirt and black jeans. 

“Minho! Hi, welcome to Aroma Mocha! What can I get you today?” Jisung asked with a giant smile that Minho returned while answering.

“Hi! I’ll have the Sunday special, I’ll eat here.”

“Okay! A Sunday special for Minho! Anything else? I’d recommend the lemon pound cake, it’s the tastiest cake you’ll ever have!”

“Sure, add that in.”

“Alright then. A Sunday special and a slice of lemon pound cake for Minho! You will get your order by that counter over there.” Jisung pointed at the counter, where customers were waiting for their orders.

Minho paid and left. Another client came by. Hyunjin told Jisung to go fill the espresso machine, but before he could leave he grabbed his arm and told him:

“You should give him your number.” 

Jisung blushed a shade of red he didn’t know he was capable of. He stammered and looked at his best friend, mouth wide.

“Please, I saw you checking him out. You looked like you wanted to eat him up. And he’s the guy from yesterday, isn’t he? He literally asked you out that day, you talked for hours. Just give him your number, get to know him better.”

“Uh, I don’t know. He was just being nice.” Jisung replied, scratching his nape.

“It’s totally okay if you don’t feel comfortable doing that,” he quickly added, not wanting his friend to get anxious. “it was just a suggestion. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to!”

Jisung nodded, walking to the coffee machine, and refilling it. Feeling a wave of confidence rushing through him, he grabbed Minho’s ticket and got his order ready, writing his number and a smiley face on a napkin, placing it on the tray. He smiled shyly at him while handing him the tray and blushed as he saw Minho noticing his small act of bravery.

Minho spent the entire day in the coffee store, sitting by the bar, watching Jisung work. His stares didn’t go unnoticed. Jisung could feel his eyes on the back of his neck and on his hands when he typed in orders or when he handed trays to customers. Minho’s stare was a distraction for Jisung—it made him want to try to excel, knowing that the pretty stranger was watching him so intensely. And so Jisung worked nervously under Minho’s strong gaze. Minho waited until the store was closing so he'd have a chance to talk to the pretty blue-haired boy,

Jisung found him leaning against the wall by the door, phone in his hand, headphones in. Hyunjin looked at Minho and then at Jisung, and snorted:

“Should I leave you two alone?” he asked teasingly. 

Minho took headphones off and looked at Jisung with a bright smile, which was returned with the same brightness. Hyunjin muttered “Ok then,” and patted his friend’s head before fleeing the scene. 

The two boys looked into each other’s eyes under the dim street lights and laughed awkwardly. Jisung looked down at his feet and bit his lip nervously. They stayed in silence until Minho asked:

“Hey, do you wanna go get something to eat?”

“Are you asking me out?” Jisung replied with a sweet smile.

“If you want me to ask you out, then that’s what I’m doing.” He shrugged. Jisung laughed.

“Let’s go then.” 

The boys walked together in comfortable silence until they got to a homey looking restaurant. There was a sign on top of the door, that read “Lino”. Jisung assumed that was the restaurant’s name. Minho held the door open for the smaller boy, making him blush. He walked in first, followed by the brown-haired guy, who closed the door behind him. 

Both boys sighed as they walked in, their mouths watering at the smell of the long-awaited food. Minho pointed at an empty table, inviting Jisung to sit down with him. A waiter came along, smiling widely.

“Minho! It’s really nice to see you!” He greeted him with a certain familiarity in his voice.

“Chan hyung! How are you?” 

“I’m good! It’s been a long time since you came by.”

“Yeah, sorry, I’ve been very busy.” He bit at the left corner of his lower lip, which made Chan laugh, obviously noticing his lie. 

“Busy doing what? Meeting pretty boys?” He teased while looking at Jisung, whose eyebrows shot up. Chan laughed again, in an easy, friendly way, and said: “Anyways, what would you like to order?”

Minho looked at the blue-haired boy who shrugged, “Order whatever you want, I’m not hungry for anything in particular”. 

He smiled at Jisung and nodded, “Two of my usual then, with a Coke and...” he paused and looked at the smaller boy, waiting for him to complete his order.

“I’ll have a sprite.”

“Alright then! Two of Minho’s regular, a coke and a sprite.” He started walking towards the kitchen, but stopped and said, “Your mum is going to be thrilled to know that you’re here, and you brought a friend!” 

Minho smiled fondly at him and then turned to look at Jisung. He was bouncing his leg up and down anxiously, his eyes wide and filled with curiosity.

“This is actually my family’s restaurant. Chan has been working here for a while now, he started when I was still in high school and he was a freshman in college” He explained, hoping that would ease some of Jisung’s anxiety. “I only come to this restaurant, because it feels like having dinner at home.”

Jisung nodded, encouraging Minho to keep on talking, so he did.

“They’ve had this restaurant since I was little. I remember coming here after school and having a cup of chocolate waiting for me at this very table” he smiled, and then corrected himself “well, not this very table, they’ve changed the tables since then, but you get the point.”

The boy laughed. Minho looked at him for a moment and then smiled, relieved.

“I used to come here every day, but as I’ve gotten older, and started having more responsibilities, I haven’t been able to come by. Especially since I started college. But it’s still nice to have a familiar, homey place to relax in”

Minho looked so fond and at ease as he spoke about his family and their restaurant. He seemed very proud of them which made Jisung smile. He went on about how they had named the restaurant after him.

“I used to have problems with pronouncing my own name, so I would call myself Lino. Everyone found it adorable, so much so that they named a whole restaurant after it. Isn’t it kinda funny?” He asked with a smile “They named a restaurant after their son’s pronunciation problems.”

He chuckled. It wasn’t necessarily funny, just adorable. 

As he thought about it, he noticed that Minho did, indeed, pronounce his words a little differently. Probably because he talked with his mouth almost closed, like a pout. It was very contrasting with his looks, as they were so intense and intimidating. His voice, on the other hand, was sweet, and it had something almost childlike in it. 

“Cute.” Jisung smiled.

Minho was just about to defend himself when Chan arrived, with two bowls of ramen in his hands. Behind him, came a kind-looking woman, who looked very much like Minho, holding some side dishes. They placed the dishes on the table. Chan bowed at them and then went on his way.

“Lino!” She exclaimed happily. 

“Mum!” He answered with a glowing smile.

“Oh, my sweet boy.” She sighed “Have you lost weight? I told you, that instant ramen you keep having for dinner has no nutrients at all! You should start coming over for dinner more often!” Minho smiled fondly at her soft nagging.

“Yes, mum. I’ll come over again as soon as I can.” That seemed to calm her down.

“And who is this handsome boy you brought along?” 

“This is Jisung, he's a friend of mine.” 

“Hello, ma’am.” He greeted her, standing up to bow. 

She smiled excitedly, looking extremely pleased with Jisung’s manners. The boy smiled back. In a way, she reminded him of his mother. Not because they looked similar, but because both of them had that warm, comforting smile, that made Jisung feel like he was at home. Her smile was wide and sincere, her eyes crinkled. The smile reached her eyes, and Jisung couldn’t help but notice how similar her smile was to Minho’s. 

Jisung looked at Minho curiously, he didn’t look like his mum a lot, but their smile was very similar. Minho’s nose was a bit smaller, which kind of made him look like a cat. Now that Jisung thought about it, Minho actually looked like a cat. His eyes were big and expressive and his nose would crinkle slightly when he smelled something unpleasant.

“What are you looking at?” Minho pulled Jisung out of his thoughts.

“Nothing” he replied quickly, cheeks reddening. Minho and his mum laughed softly, exchanging looks.

“You should bring your friend over when you come back,” his mum told him, and turning to Jisung she asked, “do you like home-cooked food?”

“It’s my favorite!” Jisung answered enthusiastically, which made Minho chuckle. “Sorry, I really miss my mother’s cooking. Nothing compares to a meal made by a mother. My friend Hyunjin’s mum is also a great cook! I loved staying over at his place because dinner was always fantastic! But we moved here for college and...” he suddenly stopped, his mouth forming an ‘o’ and then said, “could I take some of this to Hyunjin?”

Minho and his mum stared at him with a weird expression, and then she said:

“Sure, honey! Would you like to order something special for him?” 

“He really likes jjajangmyeon!”

“Okay! I’ll get right to it!” She said, smiling in a way that could only be described at motherly, and then left.

Minho sighed and rubbed his hands together. He pointed at the food as a way to suggest that they should start eating. Jisung nodded enthusiastically. They ate in silence, completely lost in the flavor of Minho’s mum’s amazing cooking. From time to time they would comment on how good the noodles were or how well marinated the meat was. They finished their food rather quickly.

The two boys looked at each other, sighing at how full they were. They chatted for a while, getting to know each other more. They talked about university. Minho told him how he was finally happy and comfortable with his friend group. He told him about his major and how he found peace by dancing. In return, Jisung told him how he had initially started attending business school but he had become bored with it and had to switch universities. That had caused him to lose three semesters, which was the reason why he was starting university again the following day. They were pleasantly surprised to find out that he was going to attend the same university as Minho. 

“What’s your major? Maybe I know someone majoring in the same thing, and I could introduce you guys.”

“I’m starting music production.” 

“Oh! Changbin does music production! He’s in his third year but you will probably see him nonetheless because he teaches the freshmen sometimes. Benefits of being the best in your class. Chan also majored in that but he has already graduated. The two of them have a rap group, called 2RACHA. I keep telling them the name sounds weird but they refuse to change it.”

“I feel like everyone will laugh at me because I’m too old to be a freshman,” Jisung whispered. 

“Literally shut the fuck up. No one will laugh at you, they have too many problems of their own to laugh at other people’s. If it makes you feel any better, I’m one semester behind because I injured my leg and had to take a break from dancing.” 

“But you’re not an entire year behind! It’s different. I’ll be surrounded by toddlers.” He complained. Minho chuckled.

They talked for hours, under the warm light of the restaurant, comforted by the chill music that played softly on the restaurant’s speakers. They only left when Minho’s mum arrived, a takeout box in her hands, and told them they were about to close up. Minho hugged her tightly, and Jisung bowed at her while thanking her for the meals. 

The boys walked shoulder to shoulder under the moonlight. A soft, summer breeze walked with them, dancing around their close bodies. It was comfortable. 

“Which way do you live?” Minho asked after they had walked an entire block.

“This way,” he answered, motioning to the way they were going. Minho nodded, as to say he lived that way as well. “But you don’t have to walk me all the way home, it’s alright. I live like, 15 blocks from here, anyway?”

“I don’t have to, but I want to. I don’t mind walking.” He gave Jisung a warm smile.

They walked together in silence as Minho hummed to a song Jisung didn’t know, but still, he felt at ease. It was shocking how easy it was hanging out with Minho. He had only met him two days ago, and yet he was entirely at peace as if they had known each other for years. Jisung never felt like this with anyone before. Even with Hyunjin. He would still feel awkward if neither of them was talking. 

But with Minho, everything was easy. Silences weren’t awkward, instead, they were very well received and neither of them felt the need to fill it up with nonsense chatter. Jisung thought he could get used to this. 

A sigh escaped Minho’s lips.

_ The sky exploded in violet, red, and the angry roar of thunder. Minho shuddered in Jisung’s arms. His face was hidden in his chest, the strands of blonde hair falling around his head. Jisung hummed to their favorite song, kissing the top of the older boy’s head, stroking his back in a comforting way. Minho sighed, but even when scared, Jisung always made him feel at home. _

Jisung stopped in his tracks, frowning. 

He shook his head and said nothing, not wanting to seem crazy. Still, Minho knew what had happened. He knew that Jisung had seen it too. He didn’t say anything, wanting to respect Jisung’s decision. But both boys kept thinking about it as they made their way home.

When they reached Jisung’s building he finally gathered the courage to ask:

“Are you scared of thunderstorms?” 

Minho smiled knowingly and nodded. “Only if they’re really loud.”

“Ah.” Jisung didn’t know what to say. He bowed slightly to the older boy as a goodbye and got inside the building. 


	3. Chapter 3

Jisung checked his phone as he finally got into bed. It was a habit he had developed in high school. He didn’t like to text that much, it made him nervous. So he only used his phone to listen to music and play games. He would check his messages a few times during the day, but his favorite time to do so was right before falling asleep. He had a text from Hyujin that read:

**Jinnie (^◡^ )**

text me when you get home!

[21:38]

**Me**

im home

i got you jjajangmyeon 

[22:27]

**Jinnie (^◡^ )**

omg i love you

did u guys have fun? 

**Me**

yeah it was super fun 

did u know he goes to sua?????

**Jinnie (^◡^ )**

ive seen him around in the dance studio yeah

**Me**

and you didnt think it was a good idea to mention this to me??

fucker

**Jinnie (^◡^ )**

sorry hehe

go to sleep

**Me**

its not even 11 shut up 

**Jinnie (^◡^ )**

ok suit yourself

if i was you i would go to sleep tho

your second first day is tomorrow 

you dont want minho to see your eyebags do you?

**Me**

honestly fuck you

**Jinnie (^◡^ )**

love you too

gn

Jisung sighed. He set an alarm —actually he set five, just in case—and left his phone charging. He took his sleeping pills, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to sleep otherwise. He was grateful his psychiatrist had decided to give him a daily dose instead of just a pill he could take when he needed it. He really felt that they were helping him. Maybe that’s why he felt so calm around Minho.

He fell asleep rather quickly.

_Minho’s hands were warm in his. They were slightly bigger, yet they felt as though they were made for his, fitting perfectly. The air was cold, and white snow adorned the trees and the roofs. They laughed as a snowflake fell on Minho’s nose, causing him to scrunch it and shake his head. They kissed, sharing their warmth, melting into each other. When they moved apart, Jisung gasped as the sunlight that had hit Minho’s face, making him look way more ethereal than he should. He smiled and into the older boy’s lips he whispered “I love you”._

Jisung woke up to his annoying alarm.

He stayed in bed for a few more minutes, staring at the ceiling and trying to organize his thoughts. He didn’t quite understand why he had dreamed of kissing Minho, or why he kept thinking about him. Had he finally lost his mind? Why was his mind making up these situations with an almost stranger? 

He decided that was an issue for another day, and got ready for university. He walked out of his apartment and texted Hyunjin while he was in the elevator, letting him know he was on his way out.

He walked to the beat of the music playing on his headphones, his hands clutching the straps of his blue backpack. He got there rather quickly, and he sighed when he saw Hyunjin waiting for him by the entrance with two cups of coffee in his hands.

“Hello, freshman.” He teased while handing him the cup.

“Fuck off.” 

“You’re so mean to me, Jisungie. I bring you coffee and this is how you pay me back?”

Jisung rolled his eyes, but he smiled at his friend, who smiled back. Hyunjin walked him to orientation—which lasted an eternity and was of very little help. They did give him a map, though—and then to Lyric Composition 101. 

He sat by the wall, at the front seats, and put on his glasses. He could see without them, but it made his head hurt. Plus, he looked cute in them.

The class was very interesting, and Jisung took a lot of notes. He had always enjoyed writing lyrics, so he was excited to finally learn how to do it properly. The teacher assigned them a partner from another year as their tutor and told them they should go to them when they were in need of advice.

Jisung was paired with a scary-looking guy. He was short but he looked very intimidating; all of his clothes were black, except for the sleeves of his shirt, which were red. His left eyebrow was pierced and so were his ears. He walked to Jisung with a nonchalant expression and introduced himself as Seo Changbin.

“Ah, you’re the guy Minho hyung told me about!” Jisung said.

“So, you’re Jisung?” he asked with a weird expression, “I thought you’d be more angel-looking.” He added.

“What do you mean? I’m very angel-looking.” Jisung argued, an offended look on his face.

“I never said you weren’t.” He quickly said, “Minho has told me about you, and I imagined you differently.”

Jisung sighed but didn’t argue back. After all, the stranger was scary looking, and he had told him he looked like an angel. 

“So, do you have anything to show me?” Changbin asked.

Jisung nodded, and they sat next to each other, while they looked through Jisung’s notes app. Changbin suggested he wrote in an actual notebook, firstly because it helped to do your writing physically, and secondly because teachers liked it better like that. The younger boy nodded and explained that he usually wrote down his feelings on the notes app and then he would translate it into lyrics. The boys worked on what Jisung already had, making some changes for it to sound prettier. 

Jisung was very enthusiastic about his lyrics. He always felt more comfortable showing his feelings through songs and poems, and it was often one of the few ways he communicated what he actually felt. He was very passionate about them, and they were sacred. Showing them to a complete stranger felt very invasive and awkward, mainly because they talked very openly about how he felt. It’s not like he felt that Changbin was going to judge him, in fact, the boy never actually said anything about the content of his lyrics, focusing only on the techniques and the overall flow. Yet he couldn’t help but feel exposed, naked. A total stranger was now aware of his deepest fears and insecurities, and his most precious secrets. 

Still, Changbin didn't say anything about them and when Jisung asked him if the content of his lyrics were alright, he said:

“Listen, lyrics are always personal. That’s how they're supposed to be. Our best works will always be about something we feel deeply because it's easier to write about things that matter to us. I will not be judging you on what your lyrics say, but on how you say it. The rest is none of my business, I won’t say anything about them, because you are not showing them with the intention of actually talking about your feelings.” 

Jisung sighed, a wave of relief washed over him. He still couldn’t shake the feeling of being exposed, but it helped to know that Changbin didn’t give a fuck. It had always been a limitation, the fact that other people would read his lyrics and would know what he felt. 

He remembered showing his mother what he had written one day. She didn’t necessarily judge him, but she was very concerned. Jisung hadn’t meant for her to get worried, he just wanted her to say “Oh, that’s really good!” or “I didn’t know you wrote. Not, “Jisung, do you want to see a therapist?” Either way, he said yes.

He had been going to therapy for many years now, he couldn’t even remember how old he was when he started. 

His first therapist was a middle-aged lady with short dark curly hair, who never really spoke, so Jisung did all the talking. After a while, he felt like he was going nowhere, so he left. His second therapist was an old lady whose office had a musty smell and was filled with books. Her hair was grey and she was very kind, he would often ask her what was wrong with him but she always told him, with the warmest expression “Nothing’s wrong with you, sweetie.” By suggestion of a family member, he changed therapists again. His third therapist was mean. She was blonde, rich, a fossil, and she used very outdated diagnosis criteria. She was very homophobic and it triggered Jisung a lot. After his mother saw how much pain this therapist was bringing him, she agreed to change therapists again. His fourth one was the kindest he’d ever had. She was around thirty and recommended him to try essential oils and meditation, and she had been the one to diagnose him with anxiety and a bunch of other stuff. He stopped going after a while. After that, he went to two other therapists, but neither of them actually helped him.

It made him sad, to think about all the money his parents had spent on his therapy. Especially because he never felt like therapy worked for him. He always felt okay during summer, maybe it had something to do with the warm sunbeams that washed over him, replacing the empty spot on his heart with warmth. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he didn’t have to go to school. School used to be so fun for him, he didn’t remember when it started becoming a hell hole that made his anxiety skyrocket and his self-esteem reach Earth’s burning core. 

Still, as soon as the days got colder, and staying in bed was way more appealing, Jisung could feel the sadness and anxiety fill him up, he could feel himself drown, and it was like he had suddenly forgotten all of those years of swimming lessons. Because as soon as the weather got colder and the nights got longer, Jisung would get lost in a neverending tornado of self-hatred and loneliness. Maybe that was the reason why he held onto writing so much. It was the only interest that never really went away, not even when he couldn’t bother to get out of bed to eat, he would still open the notes app on his outdated phone, and pour his heart out.

Changbin gave Jisung feedback on almost half of the things he had written. He took his time to make sure that the younger understood why he was correcting him and was very patient. Jisung was excited to finally have someone he could not only get feedback from, but also someone who wouldn’t push him to open up. 

The class went by very quickly, and suddenly, Jisung was pushed into a sea of people, all of them walking in different directions, at different paces. It overwhelmed him. A chill ran through his spine and he found himself panicking as he remembered that he had no idea of where the cafeteria was. Usually, he’d follow the masses, go where everybody else goes. But he quickly discarded that thought, considering that not everyone had the same schedule as him. 

His breathing was already speeding up when he felt someone poking at his shoulder. He turned around and found Changbin staring at him with an expression he couldn’t really discern.

“What’s your next class?”

“Uh… lunch.” He said, but it sounded like a question.

“Me too, come on, I’ll show you the way.” 

Jisung found himself once again sighing in relief at the elder’s words. He thought of texting Hyunjin to ask him to meet him there, but he remembered that he had told him he wouldn’t be able to have lunch with him. He pouted slightly and bit his nails anxiously. He wouldn’t know anyone there but Changbin. 

In Jisung’s mind, his situation was far from ideal. Not only it was his first year in a new university but he didn't share any classes with anyone he previously knew, unlike when he was studying business, where he shared almost every class with his friend from school, Seungmin. He didn’t know his way around, he didn’t know anyone, and he was a year behind. 

The boys walked in silence, not like they would be able to hear each other properly over the sound of hurried steps and chatter. They left the building and crossed a beautiful park. A cobblestone path cut the park in two. Aligned on each side of the path, there were stone benches. Some trees were scattered around, each accompanied by a student or a group of students, resting their backs on the trunks. 

As they walked through the path, Jisung could feel the stones under the soles of his shoes as he stepped over them. Finally, they reached the cafeteria. It was a large building covered in windows and painted an awful shade of ashy green. There were some tables with plastic chairs set outside, most of them occupied by large groups of students. There was a song playing in the background, but Jisung couldn’t recognize it because of all of the chatter. Changbin guided him to the line to buy food and they waited. 

Jisung felt like he needed to fill the silence up. Not because he was uncomfortable around Changbin, which was usually the reason why he needed to be talking, to keep him from thinking about how awkward the silence was. He wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable, just skittish. 

“Minho texted me. He said he’s waiting for us at that table.” Changbin informed, pointing at the table where Minho was already munching on a burrito. He waved at them, and Jisung waved back weakly. 

They finally got to order. He asked for spicy ramen, and so did Changbin. They paid and quickly made their way to Minho’s table.

“Hi! How’s your first day going?” He was greeted with a huge, bright, and welcoming smile from Minho.

Jisung wasn’t sure what to answer. If he told the truth, he was scared Changbin would feel offended. But at the same time, he didn’t like to lie. Minho noticed his hesitation and nodded understandingly.

“It’s ok. First days are always tough.” He reassured him, “What class do you have next?”

“I don’t really have any classes left,” Jisung answered, scratching the side of his neck.

“Then why are you having lunch here? Wouldn’t you feel more comfortable eating at home?” 

“Yeah, but Hyunjin invited me to watch him at dance class, so here I am.” He explained.

“Oh. I’ll take you there, then. I have dance class, too.”

“You have class with him?” Jisung asked.

“No, there are lots of dance rooms, this is an arts university, Sungie.” Minho laughed.

_Sungie._

Jisung pushed his thoughts away, and ignored his blushing cheeks. They ate comfortably, Minho and Changbin talked about their summers and Jisung tried not to pay too much attention. He felt like an intruder. Truth to be said, he wasn’t very comfortable. Not because of anything the older guys were doing, because honestly, they were trying really hard to get him to join their conversation. He was clearly just having a bad day.

His phone vibrated on the pocket of his hoodie and he took it out.

**Unknown**

Hey, are you ok?

This is Minho by the way

[11:48]

**Me**

yeah im good

He raised his eyes up and met Minho’s. He didn’t seem very convinced by his answer, judging by the raised eyebrow and squinted eyes. He didn’t say anything about it. Jisung thanked him mentally and added Minho to his contact list. 

They left the cafeteria and Minho walked next to Jisung towards the dance studio. They were quiet the whole way. Jisung was quiet because his head was too clouded for him to be able to think words that existed and made sense. Minho was quiet because he understood that the younger didn’t feel like talking. 

They arrived at the studio, where Jisung was met by Hyunjin’s crushing embrace. He smiled into the hug and he felt his body relax a little bit. He recalled having heard that hugs are good for anxious people and that they could calm them down. He didn’t know if it was true, but he wouldn’t reject Hyunjin’s awesome hugs. 

There was something so calming and soothing about his best friend’s hugs. He truly felt like Hyunjin wanted to hug him and show him his love. It was nice, being able to feel someone’s love. And lucky for Jisung, Hyunjin was full of love.

They parted after a while and Hyunjin patted Jisung’s head. The older smiled and Hyunjin smiled back. It was his way of telling Jisung that he understood and that he was there for him. It made Jisung feel safe.

“Do you wanna go home, Sungie?” Hyunjin asked, a concerned look plastered on his face. Jisung hated that his best friend could read him so easily. “I promise I won’t get mad if you need to go home and take some time for yourself. I can show you the way out.”

Jisung bit his lip nervously, filled with guilt. He didn’t want his friend to miss his class, not this one. He knew how therapeutic it was for Hyunjin to dance, and dark thoughts invaded his head as he realized he would be making him miss it. 

It seemed like Hyunjin could read his mind because he said “Class starts in like ten minutes. We have time, I won’t be late”

“Okay.” Jisung whispered so quietly he thought Hyunjin wouldn’t hear him. He did, though, because he interlocked their arms and started guiding him to the exit. They said goodbye to Minho briefly, who looked at Jisung’s figure as it got smaller with a worried expression. 


	4. Chapter 4

Jisung couldn’t remember when he had arrived home and got into his bathtub. But there he was, his entire body hidden under the warm water, eyes closed, and nose peeking out of the water. He liked baths. There was something about being submerged in warm, quiet water that comforted him. Showers were also therapeutic, but he didn’t like them as much. Maybe it had something to do with the comforting feeling of still water surrounding his sore body, a feeling which showers did not provide. 

He stayed there for God knows how long. His mind went somewhere else, he didn’t bother to go after it. It was better like this when he didn’t really think about anything. He sometimes did this, mostly when he was overwhelmed, or tired. Jisung relied on moments like this to just exist for a moment and let his mind go somewhere else. He knew that after a while, he would come back and feel better. It was just a matter of time. 

Jisung got out of the bath and into his lilac pajamas. He made his way to his bed, letting his body fall on top of the soft covers. They enveloped his body, swallowing him whole. It was a rather nice feeling, letting himself be wrapped by covers and fluffy pillows. He patted the bed in search of his phone. After a lot of patting, his fingertips finally made contact with the cold surface of his screen. He grabbed it and checked his messages. Hyunjin wanted to know if he had gotten home safely to which he responded with a selfie of him laying in bed. He also had a few messages from Minho.

**Minho**

Heeey

I just wanted to make sure you were okay

It can be really tough, getting used to seeing so many people

I hope you feel better soon

[12:26]

Maybe we could go out for coffee or something

Idk if that’ll help you or not

[13:02]

Let me know and I can pick you up if you want to

[13:05]

**Me**

hi

maybe tomorrow??

i dont really feel like going out rn

[15:34]

He put his phone away and closed his eyes, hiding his hands under his body to heat them up (and to stop himself from biting on his nails). It was funny how his hands were always cold and shaky. It wasn’t a problem when the weather was as warm as it was, but it really annoyed him when his hands were freezing even under the warm gloves he always wore. With the topic of cold hands on his mind, Jisung fell asleep. 

He dreamt he was running towards something. At first, he was running because he felt like it, but the closer he got to his destination, the stronger the pull. He felt as though he was a metal and the unknown and mysterious destination was a magnet. The pull was so strong it almost seemed as if he was tied and someone was pulling from the string. As Jisung looked down, he saw his running feet. Was he really going that fast? It sure didn’t seem like it. As he got closer, he started running faster, and he finally noticed a golden string tied to his right wrist. 

He should have been overwhelmed by how fast he was moving, but as he looked away from his feet, everything seemed to be moving at normal speed. He started seeing a figure. It was a male, covered almost entirely by a black coat, head hidden under a beret. Tied around his left hand, was a golden string.

Jisung sat up promptly. His eyes roamed his room, no longer illuminated by the warm golden sunbeams, but by the cold and pale moonlight. He was still laying on top of the messy covers, head resting on one of the pillows, left foot hanging out from his bed. 

He got up and walked to his desk, cringing at how cluttered it was. He couldn’t even see the mahogany surface, as it was all covered up by papers. On those papers laid his thoughts, it made sense to Jisung that his desk was severely disorganized because so was his head. He looked around, moving his papers from side to side until he found a clean sheet of paper and a pen.

He shook the pen, internally praying for it to have ink. He had a habit of leaving his pens uncapped. So it was fairly common for him to have a thousand pens, not one of them working. He whispered a ‘yes!’ when his pen drew on the empty sheet of paper.

He wrote down his dream, every single detail, pen moving frantically as if it had a life of its own, hand hurrying to get everything down before he forgot about the way the cool breeze felt on his face and how he smiled when he finally saw his destination. He wrote about the golden string, it was beyond beautiful. It seemed to emanate warm, comforting, golden light. Jisung couldn’t help but wish he could have properly seen the boy at the end of the string. 

The clock struck two a.m. when Jisung finally put his pen down and went back to bed. He didn’t usually write down his dreams, only the important ones. He liked to have a record of all important things, in case his mind accidentally forgot about them.

Jisung closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, his alarm was ringing. He turned it off with a big yawn falling from his lips. He showered and had breakfast while humming to a tune he couldn’t recognize. He made his way to college and smiled at Hyunjin when they met.

He didn’t have any classes with anyone he knew beforehand, but he told himself that he could befriend one of his classmates, maybe that would help. Either way, he paid attention in class, feeling refreshed. It was probably all of the sleep he had gotten, he wasn’t used to sleeping so much. 

He sat with Minho, Changbin, and Hyunjin at lunch. They talked about how hot it was outside and how Hyunjin wanted to get his hair color redone. Jisung told him he would go with him. 

Minho, Jisung noticed, was staring at him weirdly so he shot his eyebrows up in a silent question. Minho mirrored the action and the younger boy looked down to his lap where his phone was placed precariously. He had a text from him that read “Coffee?” Jisung looked up at Minho and nodded, smiling softly, he then grabbed his phone and texted a response: “pick me up at 7” and attached his address. 

The hours went by fairly quickly, much to Jisung’s surprise. Afternoons were usually very slow and energy-draining for him, he preferred the night time much better. But before he knew it the clock struck 7 pm and his bell rang. He smiled to himself and texted Minho an “omw”. 

Minho was dressed in a black, oversized hoodie and sweatpants. His hair was wet and messy as if he had just gotten out of the shower. Jisung looked down to his own pair of jeans, grey hoodie, and wet hair, and chuckled softly. They smiled at each other as a greeting.

“Are we going to Jinnie’s?” Jisung asked. They were still standing at his front door.

“We can go wherever you want,” Minho answered kindly. Jisung’s eyes glimmered with the promise of an adventure and grinning he said,

“I know a place. It’s far, though, we have to go by bus.”

Minho nodded and let Jisung lead the way to the bus stop. As they chatted their way there, Jisung realized two things: the first one, his heart was beating way too quickly for his liking, and two, he wasn’t anxious. So why was his heart doing that? Maybe it had gotten used to beating rapidly and was now doing it routinely. He pushed every other possible explanation away.

Line 19 arrived fairly quickly. It was usually packed with busy people that huffed annoyedly and checked their watches, running late for work or school. And in the night, it was filled to the brim with drunk teenagers that sang along to unintelligible songs. 

But as the clock on Jisung’s phone read 7:17, the bus was quite empty. The boys sat next to each other by the window. Minho rested his feet on top of the empty seats that were facing them, and Jisung did the same. 

“So, do you go to this coffee shop often?” 

“Not really, I haven’t gone in quite some time. It’s close to Seungmin’s place so we would go together after school.” Jisung had a habit of talking about people by their names, even if the other person did not know who the hell he was talking about. Nonetheless, Minho nodded in understanding.

“Why did you stop going?”

“Well, for starters Hyunjinnie opened up his store and I wanted to support him.” That was not necessarily true, considering that every drink he had from his friends store ever since he opened it was completely free. “Also, I stopped going to business school, so Seungmin wasn’t my classmate anymore. I had no reason to go there.”

Also not entirely true. Truth was, Jisung had stopped buying coffee from that shop ever since he had broken up with the cute barista, San. It hadn’t been such a bad break up if Jisung was very honest, but it did make him change a lot of aspects about his daily life and had been the straw that broke the camel's back. The very next morning after he and San were over and done with, Jisung dropped out of business school, applied to Seoul University of Arts, and encouraged Hyunjin to open up his store.

He was kind of nervous to go back, he really didn’t want to see San again. He didn’t know why on earth he had suggested going to that specific café. Maybe it was the fact that it matched Minho’s vibe perfectly. Maybe it was the promise of being alone with him, of not feeling his best friend’s eyes on the back of his neck.

Minho looked at him with a raised eyebrow, which prompted Jisung to say, “I’ll tell you later if I need to”. The older was not satisfied with his answer but didn’t push any further. Jisung thanked him in his mind. 

Suddenly, Minho’s face was very close to his, and his hands were getting closer and closer to his cheeks. Jisung looked at him with giant eyes, but Minho paid him no mind. Instead, he reached for his dangly earring and moved it slightly.

“Your earring was about to fall off,” he explained with a nonchalant expression. Jisung nodded, eyes still the size of the moon, cheeks holding the heat of a thousand suns. Minho shrugged and asked “How was your day? Better than yesterday?”

“Yeah, I was weirdly calm. Yesterday I went to sleep very very early, so it might be that.” 

“I’m glad you got lots of sleep.” Minho smiled at him with a soft look on his eyes. Jisung looked away and through the window.

“Oh, shit, this is our stop!” He announced standing up and rushing to hit the button that let the driver know they were going to get off. 

They walked to the coffee store, Jisung leading the way through the quiet streets of the pretty neighborhood. Jisung really liked the area in which Seungmin lived. It was almost fancy, but not too expensive, and it had really pretty buildings that made Jisung feel at ease.

The café was big and had huge floor to ceiling windows that allowed Jisung’s heart to drop to his feet as he realized that the smiling boy behind the counter was, in fact, San.

“Hey, hyung?” Jisung was nervous, he bit on his hoodie string and looked at Minho with big eyes.

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Could you,” he stopped to clear his throat “pretend you’re my boyfriend?” He said without breathing, nor looking at the older, scared to see his reaction. 

“Why?” Jisung could hear the smile in Minho’s voice. He kept his eyes fixed on his dirty shoelaces.

“See that guy behind the counter?” He asked, and without giving Minho any time to answer he continued, “That’s my ex, and also the reason why I don’t come here anymore. He’s not a bad guy, I just don’t want him to think I’m a loser for not finding anyone after all these months.”

“Sure.” The younger’s eyes rose to meet Minho’s. A playful smile decorated his face and it made Jisung blush a little, to see how little he cared about him asking something like that. “Shall we, honey?” He said, holding the door open for Jisung. He shot him an angry look and Minho laughed at it, placing his arm over Jisung’s shoulder. 

There was no line, so they walked to the counter. Jisung avoided San’s eyes.

“What do you want to drink, baby?”

Jisung hated that Minho was so good at this. It was very irritating, and very fucking annoying too. 

“I’ll have a caramel macchiato,” he answered nonetheless, looking up to see Minho’s eyes roaming through his face. He fought the urge to look away as he blushed, and smiled at him.

“Hey. We’ll have two caramel macchiatos, and two slices of brownies” Minho ordered in a calm way as if he had no idea who San was. As if he didn’t see San’s eyes glued to Jisung.

“Jisung?” 

He looked up and finally met San’s gaze. He gave him an empty smile.

“Hi, San. It’s been so long, how are you?” He asked politely. 

“I’m good! It’s really nice to see you! You look really good, blue hair suits you very well.”

Jisung was sure Minho had felt his body tense up because he moved his arm from the younger’s shoulders to his waist. He rested his hand there, warm and calming and Jisung almost leaned into the touch. 

San’s eyes went to Minho’s hand and then back to Jisung’s face. He smiled, with dimples and all and grabbed two cups.

“Names?”

They gave San their names and paid. Jisung sat down on a table close to the counter where they would pick up their drinks and food. Instead of chairs, the table had a couch that didn’t seem like it could fit more than two people. The table was small and round, a vase filled with lilacs adorned it. Minho sat down next to Jisung and wrapped his arms around him.

“He’s still watching,” he explained when Jisung shot him a confused look. 

They sat in silence, Jisung playing with the strings of his hoodie. He was thankful that Minho hadn’t asked him any questions. Not because he didn’t trust him, but because he simply didn’t feel like talking about it. 

When their names were called, Jisung got up. He thanked the barista and grabbed the tray, taking it to their table. They ate their brownies first, and then, completely in sync they grabbed their disposable cups and stood up. Minho laughed silently and pointed at the door, Jisung nodded. They returned the tray back to the counter and left without speaking a word. 

“Thank you,” Jisung said as soon as they were out of the café. 

Minho smiled at him, “Any time,” he answered with a smile. It made Jisung feel a little sick to his stomach. He rolled his eyes but smiled back.


	5. Chapter 5

The boys roamed the streets aimlessly for a while, shoulders touching. From time to time, a content exhale would escape their lips as they took a sip from the warm beverage. Jisung told Minho about San, even though the older hadn’t asked. Still, Minho listened carefully, nodding from time to time to let Jisung know he was listening. And when Jisung got to how they had broken up, Minho’s hand wrapped around his comfortingly.

“We broke up because he was in love with someone else. He never told me who it was, but as soon as I saw him looking at him I could tell. He used to look at me like that, you know?” He stopped to sigh, and looked at Minho, searching for any kind of judgment or pity in his eyes. When he found none he continued: “He told me they had kissed before, they had gone on entire dates. They had been seeing each other for weeks. Do you know how fucking stupid I felt? I had noticed he wasn’t acting the same, of course, I had. But I kept telling myself he was just stressed, he was just busy, there were just a lot of things in his mind.” Minho squeezed his hand and interlocked their fingers, rubbing soothing circles on the palm of Jisung’s cold hand. “The day he broke up with me he had told me to meet him at that very same café, at the very table we sat at. He told me he never meant to hurt me and that I would find someone who loved me. And then he left.”

He paused, breath shaky. It had been a while since the last time he had talked about this. He had felt so used and cheated on, for nights on end the only thing he could do was cry and clutch at his shirt, in a futile attempt to stop his chest from hurting so bad for someone who didn’t feel the same. 

Minho waited patiently for him to finish his story before finally speaking in a reassuring tone.

“You are not stupid, Sungie. You know that, right?” He grabbed Jisung’s chin to make their eyes met, and he searched for something in them. Jisung wasn’t sure he had found it. “It wasn’t your fault, there was nothing you could do about it.”

“I know. It took me some time, but now I know.” 

“Good. That’s good.” 

Minho looked at him one more time, before letting go of his chin and patting his head softly. Jisung huffed, filling his cheeks with the hot summer air and pushing it all out at once. 

“What is it?” Minho asked.

“Nothing,” he tried. Minho raised his eyebrows. Jisung caved in “You’re really hard to read, you know?”

“Am I, now?” he seemed to be pleased to find out “And why do you want to read me? Am I that interesting?”

“You’re not as special as you think you are, hyung.” Minho laughed, faking being offended. “I try to read every one, it helps me feel less anxious.” He said that last word so quietly Minho almost missed it. 

But he didn’t. He smiled at Jisung warmly and nodded. “You can always ask me,” he said.

“Ask you what?” Jisung looked at him, head tilted slightly to the left.

“What I’m thinking about. You can ask me and I’ll tell you.”

Jisung smiled at him as a thank you. They walked until they got to their bus stop. The bus came rather quickly and it was almost empty. They smiled at each other as they sat down, knees, and elbows touching. Neither of them said anything as they got progressively closer. Minho rested his head on the younger’s shoulder and whispered:

“Do you wanna watch a movie at my place?”

Jisung looked at him with an eyebrow raised and cheeks filled with an angry red. What was he suggesting? 

“Hey! It’s just a movie, get your mind out of the gutter” Minho laughed and Jisung laughed back nervously. He dried his sweaty palms on his jeans and nodded as an answer. 

Minho smiled, pleased, and placed his head on Jisung’s shoulder again. They stayed like that for the entirety of the trip. The weight of Minho’s head was both calming and alarming for Jisung, so he stayed very still, not daring to move a single muscle, scared to bother the older. 

They reached their stop and got off, thanking the bus driver as they did. They walked to a convenience store nearby and bought cheap soju and snacks for the movie. Jisung insisted on paying the bill, and Minho let him.

Minho guided Jisung to his apartment. It was small, all the walls were white, but it was covered in frames. Some of them had paintings and some others held smiley Minhos and laughing friends. They made Jisung smile. The apartment was cozy; a beige, fluffy rug covered the floor by the black couch —which was filled with cushions and had a red throw-blanket laying messily on top— and the matching coffee table. 

As Minho realised that his apartment wasn’t as pristine and tidy as he had thought he scratched his head and apologised. Jisung smiled and told him it was actually much cleaner than his place, to which both boys laughed. Three cats made their way to the doorstep where the two boys stood, meowing at Minho happily. 

“This is Soonie, Doongie and Dori,” he said while pointing at each one of them. He crouched and petted them, telling them, in a baby voice, how much he had missed them and how lonely they must have felt without him. Jisung smiled warmly at the scene. 

They sat down by the couch, Jisung grabbed a cushion and hugged it. When Minho offered him the blanket he refused. They turned the TV on and went through Netflix in search for a good movie to watch. Minho suggested they could watch Tangled and Jisung suggested Shrek instead. They played rock paper scissors to decide which movie to watch. Jisung lost. 

Jisung sighed and resigned to just watch the movie. He grabbed one of the soju bottles and drank, his entire face contorted into one of disgust, and it caused Minho to burst into giggles.

“If you didn’t like soju why’d you let me buy it?” The older boy asked, laughter still falling from his lips.

“It’s not that I don’t like it. I’m just not used to its flavor,” Jisung explained. 

They ate their chips and drank their soju, and their legs found each other like two magnets. When the movie ended, Jisung was almost in Minho’s lap. Their legs were intertwined, bare feet touching, covered by the red throw blanket Jisung had refused early. His dizzy head was resting on Minho’s chest. 

Neither of them moved to turn the lights back on. Jisung was a little too drunk to move. How much alcohol had he drank? He couldn’t remember. Now that he thought about it, it wasn’t very wise to get drunk at an almost stranger’s house, at 10 pm on a school night. He didn’t really care. Not when Minho’s warm fingers were playing with his hair and pressed against his right arm. 

But they had to get up, or else they would end up falling asleep on the couch. Minho patted his head softly and Jisung moved away, letting him stand up. He instantly curled back into a ball and layed down. His eyes followed Minho’s almost indistinguishable silhouette as it made its way through the living room to where the light switch was. He squeezed his eyes shut as the light was turned on, groaning. 

Minho smiled apologetically and asked: “How drunk are you?”

To which Jisung answered with a giggle and a “you’re very pretty”. Minho rolled his eyes, but still, his ears turned bright red.

“C’mon, let's get you to bed.”

He guided Jisung to his bedroom and gave him a pair of sweatpants to change into, leaving the room so he could have some privacy. Jisung heard footsteps and the sound of the glass bottles knocking against each other. He must be tidying up, his mind provided. He got changed and sat on the big bed. It was just like his, except Minho’s was actually neat and there weren’t pillows all over it. A few minutes later, Minho knocked on his own bedroom door.

“I’ll take the couch, you can sleep here. At what time do you have class tomorrow?” Jisung didn’t remember so he shrugged. 

“Wait, no, sleep here,” he said quietly as Minho was about to turn around. “We can share, it’s big enough”. Minho looked at him with a not-so-convinced expression, but he sighed as Jisung— who’s entire face and neck was red and puffy from the soju, who was wearing his favorite Adidas sweatpants, who was sitting so prettily in his bed— pouted. 

He went back to the living room, and Jisung heard the switch being turned off and the door being locked. Minho came back with two glasses of water and closed the door with his right foot. He placed the water glasses on each bedside table and smiled nervously at Jisung who was now laying in his bed, all tucked up. 

He walked to his closet and turned on the light, before going back to the switch and turning the bedroom lights off. Jisung’s eyes followed him closely. He finally made his way to his bed, laying underneath the white blankets, far from Jisung’s body. 

They fell asleep to the sound of each other’s soft, deep breaths. 

_ The club’s lights danced brightly on Minho’s moving body. They were very close to each other, Jisung’s arms resting on the older’s shoulders, Minho’s hand on Jisung’s waist. A song Jisung didn’t know played loudly on the club's speakers. It was probably from The Weeknd, but he wasn’t sure. Their bodies moved frantically to the rhythm, painfully close to each other. Minho looked at him with a hungry look in his piercing eyes and leaned in to kiss him, hand holding his chin in place. _


	6. Chapter 6

They woke up to Minho’s alarm, bodies mixed up in a sea of arms and legs and messy hair. Jisung groaned as he tried to escape Minho’s limbs to turn the alarm off. He sat up slowly, last night’s dream still replaying in his head, which was throbbing with angry, hangover pain. He got up, groaning as the entire room spun and turned. He looked at his —Minho’s— bedside table and found a glass of water. He drank it all up, wishing he had ibuprofen to go with it alongside. 

He turned around to wake Minho up but found him staring at him with that weird look he always had. Minho smiled at him, soft and sleepy, and stretched as he yawned. Jisung thought he looked like a cat. Speaking of cats, as soon as Minho let out his noisy yawn, a symphony of ‘meows’ came from outside the bedroom door. 

“Ah, yes, good morning babies,” Minho said as he opened the door. He was greeted with more meowing, and three cats trying to rub against his legs to get his attention. He looked at Jisung and mouthed ‘duty calls’ and left the room. 

Jisung looked at his jeans, resting messily on top of Minho’s drawers. He didn’t feel like wearing jeans so he ignored them, and walked out of the room with lazy steps and a yawn. He was met with Minho feeding his cats and talking to them with that voice people use to talk to babies. He smiled at the sight and sat by the kitchen table. 

“Coffee?” Minho asked as he pointed at an empty cup. Jisung nodded. “There’s ibuprofen in that drawer,” he added, pointing at the fourth drawer. 

Jisung opened it and was met with a bunch of different medications. He tried to ignore the very familiar looking pill bottles and focused on finding the ibuprofen. He let out an “aha!” as he did. 

They sat by the table, coffee, toasts, and ibuprofen in front of them. At first, breakfast was silent. They sat in front of each other and ate their toasts with strawberry jam. It was only after they had downed half of the coffees that they were brought back to life. 

“Did you sleep well?” Minho asked, mouth half-filled with a bite of toast. 

“I did, yeah.” They smiled. 

They left Minho’s place a little earlier than necessary. Minho insisted on walking Jisung to his apartment and wait for him to pick up his backpack. Jisung invited him in. He felt rather embarrassed, his apartment was surely a lot messier than Minho’s. But the older boy didn’t tease him about it. Instead, he sat down on Jisung’s yellow couch and waited for him to come back with his teeth brushed and his blue backpack and his phone charger on his hand. 

The walk to university was serene, a warm, heavy summer breeze walked around them, engulfing them with its calmness. They talked about the upcoming rain and Jisung’s mind went to that one time he saw a scared Minho in his arms as a clap of thunder roared angrily. He decided he could no longer ignore the situation and took his phone out. He was determined to find his answers.

**Me**

hey jinnie

i need help

**Jinnie (^◡^ )**

hi

whats up??? are u ok???

**Me**

im fine

just confused

ill tell u at school

im omw w minho hyung

Jisung checked his schedule, it was an almost blurry picture he had taken of the board where everyone’s schedules were hung. He didn’t have class right away, which gave him just the right amount of time to talk to Hyunjin. They met up at the front door. 

Hyunjin bowed to Minho, who smiled at him politely and whispered a “see you around” in Jisung’s ear. His best friend looked at him with a playful smirk. 

“So, what happened between you and Minho hyung?” 

“Nothing happened, Jinnie.” Jisung rolled his eyes, “We hung out yesterday, I got drunk and stayed over, that’s it.” 

Hyunjin didn’t look convinced by his friend’s explanation, but he dropped the subject nonetheless.

“What do you need help with?” He asked as they reached one of the stone benches. They sat down. Jisung dried his sweaty palms on his sweater.

“I’ve been having these...” he paused. What even were they? Visions? Dreams? Hallucinations? “I’ve been seeing these things. They look like memories.”

“Memories? Of whom?”

“Of me and Minho hyung,” he said quietly, looking down at his shoes. 

There was a pause, a questioning silence. He ignored it. 

“Let’s go,” Hyunjin said, standing up and grabbing Jisung’s arm, pulling him up.

Jisung looked at him with questioning eyes. “Go where?” he asked as he was dragged out of the university. Hyunjin didn’t answer.

They walked for a few minutes, Hyunjin’s hand was still wrapped around Jisung’s wrist. Finally, Hyunjin stopped at an alley. 

There were a lot of alleys around this neighborhood and they usually had a pungent smell of trash and rotting food, especially if they were close to a restaurant. But not this one. Jisung was getting nervous as he noticed that his friend wasn’t stepping in, so he tried to walk in himself. He was stopped by Hyunjin’s arm. “Wait,” he whispered.

Wait for what? Jisung asked himself. He got his answer as a mysterious voice came from the alley. “Come in,” it said. The boys obeyed. 

The alley was clean. There wasn’t trash laying around, or disgusting smells and weird-looking people. In fact, nothing was there. Jisung looked at his friend with a confused expression. Hyunjin pointed at a door at the end of the alley and stopped in his tracks. 

“Knock, be polite. I’ll wait outside.” 

Jisung shot him a scared look but his friend just pushed him forward. He cracked his knuckles anxiously and walked to the door. It was actually a double door, large and red, two golden knobs adorned each door. It looked old, the metal parts were rusty and the paint was scraped on some parts. He knocked one, two, three times. The voice indicated him to come in. He did, whispering a shy “excuse me.”

“Sit down,” a girl wearing a white shirt and various necklaces ordered. She had black, long hair that was tied in a neat ponytail, bangs covering her forehead, and a calm expression. 

Jisung sat down on the empty chair and waited. 

“What brings you here?” the girl asked. She looked rather young, probably only a few years older than Jisung. On the table, a tarot deck rested next to burning incense. 

“Are you a tarot reader?” Jisung asked instead. 

“I can be if that's what you need, but something tells me you’re not here for a reading.”

Jisung nodded and cleared his throat. “I’ve been seeing things.”

“Things?” the girl inquired.

“They seem like memories. Except, I never did those things. At least I don’t think I did.”

She hummed. “Interesting. What are these memories like? What do they tell you?” 

“They are of me and,” he paused, unsure. “This other person.”

“When did they start?” the girl asked, eyes filled with enthusiasm and curiosity. 

“When I met them.” 

She smiled knowingly. It scared Jisung, to realize that his situation was clear to others but not to himself. He had told Hyunjin and he had brought him here as soon as the words had left his mouth. And now, this strange girl was looking at him as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. It pissed Jisung off. 

“How do you feel when you’re around this person?” 

“Calm?” he tried “It’s very peaceful, hanging out with them, there are rarely any moments in which I feel uncomfortable.”

“Does it ever feel like you already know them? Perhaps when they’re telling you stuff about their life?” she asked, her smile growing as Jisung’s eyes answered her, eyes twinkling with excitement.

“Yeah, and I think they feel like that too,” he provided. The girl nodded.

“And have you noticed any patterns in these visions you have? When do they happen?” 

“I don’t know. But sometimes they happen while I’m asleep.”

She hummed, and paused for a brief moment before finally enlightening Jisung: “That person could be your soulmate”

“Wait, I had a dream, there was a golden string that tied me to a person and I felt a pull,” Jisung interrupted. She didn’t look pleased.

“Don’t interrupt me, child,” she scolded. “It makes sense, that person was probably the person you have the rest of the visions about” she stopped for a moment, Jisung assumed she was sorting her thoughts out. “The visions started around the time you two met, right?” 

Jisung nodded.

“Meeting must’ve triggered it.”

“What do you mean, triggered it?” he asked.

“Soulmates are meant to find each other. They are meant to find each other in all of their lives, until their souls grow old and die, or until the soulmate bond is broken. Soulmates are here to teach us things, to make us wiser. So as long as you have something to learn, you’ll find them. Those ‘visions’ you keep having, are memories of your past lives together. The fact that you are even seeing these memories in the first place means that you have lived lives together before, I know of people who find their soulmates but don’t see their past memories. That could mean that the soulmate bond is new, or that the soul itself is young. The more memories you see, the more you guys have lived together.” 

She looked at Jisung, waiting for him to ask her any questions. “Why do I see memories randomly? I’ve seen some walking next to them, or showering. Why is that?” 

“It’s not random. The universe rarely does something for no reason, everything is planned. Since soulmates bonds are the strongest, memories usually appear for both soulmates at the same time. Now, I cannot say this for sure, but it usually happens when they are doing the same thing,” she explained.

“That actually makes a lot of sense. Will I see more memories?” He asked.

“I don’t know that, it depends on how old your souls are, and how many lives you have had together. You can see many memories from one life, too. The fact that you see a lot of them probably means that you made lots of great, significant memories.”

“Why do I feel like that around them? I've only known them for a couple of days and yet I feel like I’ve known them my whole life. I’ve never felt more at ease with anyone.”

“That's the soulmate bond. Soulmates feel at home around each other, because they complement each other. Your souls get along very well, they are comfortable around each other, so you feel peaceful when you’re around them. It wouldn’t make sense if the person meant to make you wiser was someone you didn’t get along. ”

Jisung nodded in understanding. The girl looked at him, he stared back hesitantly. “Have I satisfied your curiosity?” She asked him. 

“How much is it?” he asked, searching for his wallet. 

He paid and left, not without a deep bow and a ‘thank you’. When he stepped out, he let out a sigh. Hyunjin was waiting for him, his back pressed against one of the walls of the alley, phone in his left hand. When he heard the old, rusty door opening up he looked at Jisung with questioning eyes.

Jisung didn’t answer his questions, his mind was too busy recalling all of the things he had seen. He couldn’t wrap his head around the concept of having met his soulmate. In a way, it made sense to him. They got along instantly, time seemed to fly by whenever they were together. He was comfortable even when they touched, which was very out of character. The entire walk back to university was silent, but Jisung’s mind was filled with panicking thoughts.

He avoided Minho’s table at lunch. Instead, he bought a sandwich and went out to eat it under the cold shadow of a tree. Jisung could feel the older boy’s eyes piercing through him, staring from the cafeteria. He ignored them and focused on finishing his sandwich. 

He walked back home as soon as his only afternoon class ended, his steps were hurried. He was eager to get home, he desperately needed his time alone to think and clear his mind. 

His unmade bed welcomed him with a refreshing coolness. Jisung was quick to discard most of his clothing—especially Minho’s sweatpants—and let his body be swallowed by his heavy blankets. He wished he could fall asleep, but his head was going too fast for him to relax. So he just let it be, he knew it would shut up at one point, he just had to be patient and let his body go limp. 

Jisung was wrong. His body did not go limp, in fact, he hadn’t been this tensed up in a long time. He needed to move. 

He got up and put his clothes back on with tingling, trembling hands. He walked past Minho’s sweatpants laying on the floor and left his apartment. His feet made their way to Hyunjin’s café store.

There was a line. Of course, there was a line, it was still early in the afternoon. Jisung thought that maybe, having coffee would be counterproductive, considering how shaky his entire body was. He ignored his thoughts and when his turn to order came, he looked at Felix with pleading eyes and asked for an iced americano. 

Instead, Felix gave him Chamomile tea and made him sit at the employee’s common room, where he would be alone. Jisung thanked him quietly and sat down on the white plastic chairs. He took one sip, two, three, until his cup was empty. 

He sat there for an entire hour, trying to calm his breathing before Hyunjin showed up with a very concerned expression on his face. He didn’t say anything to Jisung, he knew he didn’t like to be pressured into talking. Instead, Hyunjin sat next to him. They didn’t say anything for a few minutes before Hyunjin finally spoke to ask:

“Can I touch you?”

Jisung nodded, and he sighed as he felt his best friend's arms around him, holding him. They hugged, Hyunjin’s hands rubbed Jisung’s back gently, soothingly. He kissed Jisung’s head and gave him a smile that said ‘I’m here for you’. Jisung smiled back weakly.

Finally, after a long time of just holding each other in complete silence, Jisung told him what had happened. He told Hyunjin about the lady, and about him and Minho being soulmates and about the recurring memories of them kissing. He told him about Minho’s sweatpants still laying on his floor and about the fake dating at the café. Hyunjin held his hand, rubbing soft circles with his thumb. 

They stayed there, Hyunjin listened to Jisung’s concerns, and did not interrupt once. Once Jisung announced he had finished talking, Hyujin said:

“Minho is your soulmate, so what? You don’t have to do anything about it. You don’t have to marry him, date him, hold his hand or even be his best friend. You said he is here to teach you something, right?” Jisung nodded “Well, maybe you guys don’t have to be intimate with each other in order for him to teach you stuff. Maybe you guys will be friends, and that’s it. Haven’t you learned anything from being my friend?”

Jisung hesitated, causing his friend to laugh. “You probably learned something. We all learn things from those around us, the only difference is that you and Minho are soulmates. So what? You feel comfortable around him, and you guys will teach each other shit. In my humble opinion, that is very cool. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“But the thing is, I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t know if I can see myself dating him, but I don’t know if I’m repulsed by the idea either,” Jisung explained.

“Nobody is rushing you. You don’t have to know everything, Sungie. It’s alright to have doubts about shit, it’s human. You’re human.”

Jisung nodded and hugged his best friend again. His mind was still filled to the brim with unanswered questions but at least, he knew he could count on Hyunjin to calm him down. 


	7. Chapter 7

Because his head was full of doubts, he decided that he should stay away from Minho, at least until he came up with an answer to his questions. So for two weeks, he walked past the older boy and ignored the uneasy feeling at the pit of his stomach. He tried his best to brush off the feeling of Minho’s strong gaze on the back of his neck when he walked by. 

At first, Hyunjin looked at him questioningly, but after a few days, he just let him do what he wanted. The thing about Jisung was that once he set his mind to something, changing his mind was extremely difficult. He would try to convince him to at least say ‘hi’ to Minho, but he knew his efforts would be unsuccessful. 

Instead of sitting with Minho, he would sit alone under that one tree that had a generous shade. Sometimes, Hyunjin would join him, and they’d eat together making small talk about their subjects and the weather. Sometimes, he’d sit by himself with his composing journal in his hands and pour his heart out. When Changbin asked if his lyrics were about anyone in particular, he said he had gotten inspiration from a movie. 

One night, he got a text from Hyunjin, who was still at the dance studio practicing for the winter showcase. He asked for a change of clothes, saying that he had forgotten his at home. Jisung arrived at the dance studio, a gym bag thrown over his shoulder. 

He did not find Hyunjin. Instead, he saw a very sweaty Minho going over his solo part, eyes focused on his reflection shown in the dirty mirror that covered the entire wall. Jisung didn’t mean to creep, in fact, a part of his brain was telling him to go. But his feet were glued to the floor.

Minho was hot. Jisung, who had a working pair of eyes, knew that Minho was attractive. He had a really handsome face and a nice sense of style that made a lot of girls and boys (but definitely not Jisung) drool. But Minho was hot. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt that gave Jisung a pretty clear view of his arm muscles. Not only that, but his sweatpants were impossibly tight. Was that allowed? There had to be a dressing code, that shouldn’t be allowed. 

Jisung couldn’t stop staring at Minho’s thighs as he danced around the room. He knew that it was weird and creepy but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the dancer’s body. He was so hypnotized that he didn’t notice that Minho was progressively getting closer to where he was standing, eyes fixed on Jisung. 

“Hey.”

Jisung let out a tiny scream. Minho laughed softly, and turned the music off.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, like an idiot.

“What are  _ you _ doing here? Last time I checked you weren’t taking any dance classes. And you also weren’t talking to me,” Minho fought back.

“I’m,” Jisung started, but paused “I wanna take dance classes,” he lied. Minho looked at him with that stupid cocky smiled that made Jisung want to punch him.

“Okay, then. I’ll teach you.” 

The older grabbed Jisung’s arm and removed the gym bag from his shoulder. They stood there, at the very center of the room, silently.

“Shouldn’t you play music?” Jisung asked nervously, avoiding Minho’s eyes.

Minho nodded and turned the music back on. He went back to where Jisung was standing and stood behind him, staring at him through the mirror. Neither of them moved, even after the song ended. They ignored it as it started playing again. 

Jisung looked at Minho expectantly, waiting for him to ask the question he was aching to get answers to. 

“Why were you avoiding me?” he finally inquired, a defiant look in his strong eyes. Jisung looked away. He felt the need to go, to dive into the comfort of his bed and never leave. It’s easier if we don’t talk to each other, Jisung answered in his head. 

“I don’t know,” he answered out loud.

Minho looked at him and sighed. Jisung thought he was probably tired of him and his lies. He would be tired, too. Maybe if you actually told him the truth, he wouldn’t hate you, his mind provided. But as always, Jisung ignored it. 

He turned around to leave, but Minho’s hand on his arm stopped him. 

“Stop running away,” he whispered. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered back. What was he even sorry for? Sorry for lying. Sorry for ignoring him. Sorry for the 13 unread messages. Sorry that the universe gave you the worst soulmate ever. 

Minho seemed to understand. He felt a pair of arms around his body, his back touched Minho’s chest. He sighed. 

“I’m not ready to tell you yet,” he said with his eyes closed and his body still tense from the unannounced skinship.

“I’ll wait then. But you can’t push me away like that,” Minho said quietly into Jisung’s neck and rested his chin on his shoulder. Jisung nodded. 

Jisung kept his word. He went back to sitting with Changbin and Minho at lunch. Sometimes Hyunjin and a shy freshman that looked way younger than he actually was, joined them. They would eat together, and then Minho would walk Jisung home. Sometimes, as they reached Jisung’s front door, Minho would hesitate. He would search for something in Jisung’s face and sigh, before turning around and leaving.

For a while, the two boys hung out at Hyunjin’s café. Jisung asked his friend if he could give him a permanent job, seeing as he was running out of his parent’s allowance rather quickly. So, Minho and Jisung would walk to the coffee store together, and Minho would sit somewhere where he could watch Jisung. 

One evening, Jisung announced to Minho that he would be going to the hair salon to get his hair recolored. Minho replied with a sad expression, as that meant that they wouldn’t hang out that day. Still, he walked him to the hair salon and told him to let him know when he got home. 

The following morning, Jisung showed up at Minho’s apartment with blonde hair and two cups of ice americanos. Minho choked on his spit and stared at the younger boy for a longer time than usual. It made Jisung blush, but neither of them said anything about it.

And so, the summer turned into autumn and the autumn into winter. Long walks across parks and hours staring at the stars turned into cuddling sessions at Minho’s apartment or study dates at Jisung’s. 

The soulmate topic stayed on the back of Jisung’s mind. It was very difficult to ignore, especially when he would get flashes of memories often. It was exceptionally difficult to ignore when these flashes would come up when they were together, and Jisung had to watch Minho as he tried to pretend that nothing was going on. 

He discussed it with Hyunjin quite often. He wondered whether telling Minho the truth was somehow forcing him to do something he may not want to. Hyunjin always assured him that it wasn’t the case and that he was overthinking. 

He even talked about it with Changbin, one night as they drank soju at the older’s place and discussed lyrics. 

“Hyung, do you believe in soulmates?”

Changbin looked at him with a knowing expression and nodded, “Yeah, of course, I do. I used to think it was utter bullshit. But then, I met mine. Once you do, it’s kind of impossible not to believe.”

“You have a soulmate?” he asked, incredulous.

“Yah. Of course, I do, what kind of question is that?” he asked, faking offense.

“Who are they? Do I know them?” 

“I think you do, yeah. Minho told me you work at Aroma Mocha, right?”

“I do,” he stopped. Aroma Mocha had four employees: Hyunjin who was head over heels with that freshman, Jeongin, Woojin who was very straight and taken, Felix, and himself. “Wait, is it Felix?” he asked excitedly. Changbin nodded with a dumb smile. 

“Yeah, we met at last year’s showcase. I saw him backstage, he was very nervous so I offered him some of my water. And we hit it off, I suppose.” He looked fond of the memory, and Jisung swore that he wasn’t jealous. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” he lied quickly. 

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a terrible liar?” Changbin laughed. “If you don’t want to tell me, it’s fine,” he added.

“I just think he deserves better than me. And I honestly don’t even know how I feel about him, it would be very unfair if I told him ‘hey we’re soulmates’ and…”

Changbin cut him off. “Trust me, he’s a grown man, he’ll know how to handle that information. It’s not like he’s stupid, you know. He was there for me when I met Felix, so he kind of knows what happens once you meet your soulmate.” 

Jisung’s eyes were wide open. Minho knew? He had tried so hard to disguise the information but Minho already fucking knew? 

“Look, he probably hasn’t said anything because he’s waiting for you to be ready. I think we can all agree that you’re very scared, which is totally fine, but you have to let him in. You don’t have to know what you feel just yet, although judging by your lyrics, you already do. Just talk to him, alright? He’ll understand.”

On his way back home, Changbin’s words echoed in his head. When Jisung fell asleep the words manifested themselves in the form of butterflies surrounding Minho’s body. He woke up with the sound of Minho’s laughter stuck in his head like a catchy song. 

He needed a shower.

_ Minho smiled at him fondly as he opened the door to their new house. It was empty and kind of dusty, the only things on the floor were the brown boxes filled with their stuff. But it was theirs. They laughed in pure excitement as they stepped into their new home. Jisung looked around with a wide smile on his face and hugged his boyfriend. They had been through a lot, but finally, they would get their happy ending.  _

Perhaps, he did not need a shower. But he stayed under the hot water for a few minutes, letting his muscles relax and his thoughts fade away. 

When he got out he texted Hyunjin:

**Me**

how did u know that u liked jeongin?

[7:08]

**Jinnie (^◡^ )**

one day he looked at me and all i wanted to do was kiss him

so i did

why? 

[7:11]

  
  
  


**Me**

no reason

[7:15]

Jisung walked to the café, music blasting through his headphones. He was, for once, wishing that something happened along the way so that wouldn’t have to see Minho. But, of course, nothing happened. He got to the coffee store safely and said hi to his coworkers with a smile. 

Felix shot him a knowing look that said ‘I know your secret’ and Jisung wanted the floor to swallow him whole. He looked at the boy with a pleading expression which made him laugh. Jisung sighed and got to taking the customer's orders.

Minho arrived at around 10, just like Jisung knew he would. He gave him a smile and ordered a caramel macchiato. Jisung smiled back and watched the older sit by the bar where he usually sat. 

For once, he wasn’t nervous because he was being watched. He worked quietly, taking orders, brewing coffee, and smiling at customers distracted him from a reality that was becoming way too obvious for his liking. When his lunch break came he and Minho went to have sushi in a restaurant that Jisung liked a lot. It was very modern looking and there were vases with forget-me-nots on the tables. 

They sat on a table that was located on the far corner of the restaurant, and a waiter came along to get their orders. They ate rather quickly, as they were both very hungry, but they stayed there until Jisung’s break was over. 

  
Minho smiled at him as he left to do his own things. Jisung’s stomach dropped as he realized that he only gave him that smile. It was  _ his _ smile, a fond, soft smile that only showed up when he was saying hello or goodbye to him. Jisung’s fingers ached to wrap themselves around Minho’s wrist and make him stay. But instead, he let the sleeves of his sweater fall over them, hiding them completely.


	8. Chapter 8

The day of the winter showcase was getting closer and closer and Jisung was more than nervous. He knew that Minho had an amazing performance prepared, and he had been there to watch Hyunjin practice so he knew he was going to do great, too. He was sure Changbin would look fantastic on stage. He wasn’t so sure about himself, though.

His Lyric Composition had told them to write about something deep, personal, and private. He then proceeded to tell the entire class that the one that got the highest grade would be presenting the song at the showcase. 

Jisung had stared at the empty page in his notebook for days, silently hoping that they would fill themselves with rhymes that could hopefully get him a passing grade. He had gotten a rush of inspiration one night when he woke up from a dream. He had filled two pages with a very rough first draft that he then showed Changbin. They worked on it for a few days and Jisung handed in his finished lyrics right on time for the due date.

The following week, the teacher announced the highest grade was Jisung’s, which would have been nice if having that grade didn’t mean he’d have to pour his heart out in an auditorium packed with staring eyes. 

So Jisung practiced and practiced his singing every day, he asked Jeongin, Hyunjin’s soon-to-be-boyfriend for some tips on his technique and the younger boy was happy to provide. 

On the day of the showcase, Jisung was shaking like a leaf. He told himself it was because he was cold, but in reality, he was fucking scared. Feelings were scary, and talking about them was scary enough, he didn’t need to tell the entire world about them. The fact that no one had to know who he was talking about gave him a little comfort. That, and Minho holding his hand and showing him where he would be in the audience.

Minho was first to present. He danced beautifully and Jisung couldn’t tear his eyes away from him, completely mesmerized by the older’s skill. His classmates performed right after, and then it was Hyunjin’s turn. To say that Jisung was proud of his best friend, was an understatement. He had a way of dancing that made the spectator unable to think about anything else, completely hypnotized by him. When it was Felix's turn to dance, his teacher signaled him to go backstage.

He was met with Minho, who was about to leave and go into his seat. They smiled at each other and Minho whispered ‘you can do it’ in his ear. 

The first thing he noticed as he got on the stage and the curtains opened, was that it was hot under the lights. He sighed as he found Minho and Hyunjin in the audience and gave them a smile. The music he had previously recorded started playing from the big speakers and Jisung waited for his queue to start singing. It was electrifying, watching all those people pay attention to you, seeing Minho gasp as he started singing, watching Hyunjin smile at him.

He sang the first verse, avoiding Minho’s eyes. He was waiting, he knew that the moment he looked at Minho, the older guy would realize what was going on. So he looked at him as he sang:

_ Might be Déjà vu _

_ First time we met, but I remembered you _

_ We were creepin' in the night time _

_ Maybe in another lifetime _

If Minho’s mouth was agape already, when their eyes met it reached the floor. Jisung smiled sweetly at him and closed his eyes as he sang the chorus. The rest of the song went by in a flash, and before he knew it he was singing his last line, eyes still focused on Minho’s. 

He bowed at the audience and waited for the red curtains to finish closing before he left the stage. 

He was sweating, maybe because of the heat from the lights, maybe because he was nervous, maybe because there was something very intimidating about Minho’s gaze.

Jisung sighed, smiling when his teacher complimented him on his singing and thanking him for giving him the chance to present his song on stage. He waited for his heartbeat to go back to normal before leaving the room and going back into the auditorium. He sat next to Minho casually as if he hadn’t just confessed to him in front of literally all of his classmates, and his classmate’s parents. 

Minho gave him a look and placed his hand on Jisung’s thigh, squeezing slightly as if to say ‘I understood, we’ll talk later’. Jisung’s heart was threatening to jump out of his chest, and he wanted it to just calm down, Minho was just grabbing his thigh, nothing fancy. It’s not like he was resting his head on his shoulder and telling him that he did a fantastic job. That was definitely not what was happening. At least that’s what Jisung told himself. 

But it was happening, and Minho did, in fact, invite him to have dinner with his parents when he realized that Jisung’s hadn’t come. And they did hold hands in the backseat of Minho’s parents' car. And Jisung did blush when his parents looked at them, with a soft expression and his mother said ‘We’ll leave you two alone’.

Minho looked at Jisung shyly, and Jisung had to look away and hide his face behind his hands as his cheeks got red. Minho grabbed his hands and moved them away from his face. Even when their hands reached the table, he didn’t let go of them. They held hands for a while, and Minho waited until the younger one was ready to talk.

“So…” he started. Minho smiled at him encouragingly. It made Jisung angry, that he already knew all of this. “I think we might be soulmates.”

“I think so, too,” he said, his smile growing bigger. “What about it?” he asked teasingly. 

“Oh, fuck you. If you want me to say that I like you you’re going to be very fucking disappointed because I will not say it.”

Minho let out a loud laugh, “you like me,” he said matter of factly. 

Jisung looked away again, even though it was winter, his whole body was on fire. 

“It’s ok if you like me, it happens often,” he smirked and Jisung wanted to punch a hole through a wall. “I’m kidding, Sungie. I obviously like you, too.”

He stared at Minho awkwardly, unsure of what to do next. His hands were sweating under Minho’s so he moved them away and hid them in the pocket of his jacket. They ate silently, enjoying themselves and the tasty food Minho’s parents cooked for them. 

Minho walked him to his apartment, holding his hand inside of his jacket. The streetlights walked with them. It was so cold out that they could see each other's breaths as they exhaled. They reached Jisung’s doorstep and Minho turned to look at the younger, their hands separating. 

He fixed Jisung’s hair, tucking the wild strands back under his grey beanie, and smiled at him fondly. He got closer, slowly, to give Jisung the chance to back away, to give him the chance to consent. He waited there, mouths almost touching, the tips of their noses touching. Jisung closed his eyes and took a deep breath before leaning in and closing the space between their lips. 

They kissed softly, sweetly, and Jisung couldn’t help but notice the faint taste of vanilla of Minho’s chapstick. He smiled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around the older’s neck. Minho moved away first and looked at Jisung with eyes filled with love. For once, Jisung didn’t feel shy under his gaze.

They moved away from each other reluctantly. Minho squeezed his hand before walking away, leaving Jisung with a promise of more. He smiled as he walked into his building, his heart finally at a normal, calm rate, and his soul at utmost peace. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! Thank you to Mia for being my beta, you helped me a ton.


End file.
